Glass and I didn't get on over the weekend.

Firstly on Sunday I went to the garage to do some chores. A very inquisitive cat has been snooping around our garden and recently darted in to our house through the patio window, so I made sure I closed it on my way out. However, I completely forgot it was closed and *SLAM* banged in to it when I tried to re-enter. I'm amazed my forehead didn't get a big bruise (I could picture the conversation at work: "How did you get the bruise?", "I walked in to a door...", "Look James, is everything alright at home?").

Later that night I went to the bathroom to clean my teeth. We've recently had a brand spanking new bathroom installed, which includes a glass screen next to the shower. I'm obviously not used to it though because when I stepped in to the bathroom I saw a ghostly figure staring straight back at me! It took me about 0.3 nanoseconds to realise it was my own reflection but in that short space of time my heart practically leaped out of my ribcage. I blame Paranormal Activity, the film I saw at the cinema last week. Oh my god it was scary. Very Blair Witchy, very psychological and very tense [89/100]. Put it this way, I had a few restless nights in the week that followed... I kept imagining a figure stood at the end of my bed, watching me.

I guess another film round-up is in order... The Escapist is about an old guy (that played Hannibal Lecter in the films before Anthony Hopkins) that has to escape from a prison to see his daughter who is ill. He devises a cunning plan and... I better not say in case you want to see it. It's quite cleverly done and has the potentially award-winning dialogue "You've got one thing going for you Frank... you're too old to die young" [81/100]. The Shooter, starring Mark Wahlberg, is about a sniper who is framed for the murder of the president and so goes on the run to prove his innocence. It's a bit like 'The Fugitive' but not as good, albeit with a hotter lead lady [81/100 - can't separate it from the other film]. The final film I have watched recently was Gia, about 'America's first supermodel' who was a drug addict and the first high profile female AIDS victim. I'll be honest, it wasn't my choice, although I did enjoy some of Angelina Jolie's more, erm, revealing scenes [75/100].

It's been chores, chores, chores for me recently. I got my car MOTed on Friday (anything less than £200 is a result) and then spent a couple of hours on Sunday mopping the floor with the new mop and bucket I recently bought. Unfortunately, the bucket I bought didn't have a squeegee board, so water sloshed on to the floor in far greater quantities than I would have liked. Damn, how could I go wrong buying a bucket?

I also made an earth-shattering discovery when ironing. You can adjust the ironing board to be much lower, which means you can iron while sitting down. As a result I put something good on telly and ironed for TWO HOURS (instead of my usual half hour before getting bored). Then today I went to the post office to tax my car. It was lunchtime so there was a lengthy queue, including a short middle-aged guy who moaned about anything and everything for the entire fifteen minutes he was there. The woman he bombarded just nodded, mmmed and agreed with everything he had to say (basically, the world is a horrible place, we may as well all just give up now). Amusingly, a cheerful looking pensioner (flat cap and all) tapped him on the shoulder on the way out and said "thank you, you've really cheered me up!" Haha.

What is the most pain it's possible to be in?

Being tortured by Jack Bauer? Childbirth? Wearing new shoes at a wedding? Well comfortably eclipsing any of those was the pain I've just endured, trying to take a plaster off my knee (unfortunately, when I put it on, I didn't align it very successfully). Oh. My. God. It brought a tear to my eye and a strange re(flex )action to pain I've never had before in which I clawed at my leg with my fingernails to try and disguise the primary pain a bit.

So what's new? Well, my brothers girlfriend Lindsey has moved in, that's what. To mark the occasion, we've had a new bathroom installed (which looks great) and had the conservatory done up too (which looks even better). She's only been living here for two days and I have made a few observations:

Five differences, now a woman lives at my place:
1. For the first time ever, my bathroom has a candle in it. And a flower in a vase. And wicker baskets in which you can put things.
2. She spent nearly an hour doing dishes tonight! One hour!! Doesn't she realise that dishes can be left to soak and there's no point spending too long cleaning surfaces because they'll only end up getting dirty anyway.
3. My kitchen has a bowl of fruit in it!!?!
4. I feel a tinge of guilt when I'm watching football on TV and she's in the room. To be fair, I try to compromise when it's a lesser match, for example a third tier match, and put a cookery program on instead.
5. We have fruit teas.

Joking aside, I think it'll work well and the place is looking great. Well, it will once everything is packed away - it's a bit chaotic at the moment. I've used the move as an opportunity to have a 'clear out' of my own and today got rid of two full bin-bags of clothes. I had to be ruthless because at first I had the mentality 'I can't throw that away, it could come in useful' but then I had to remind myself that I hadn't worn it for nearly three years.

Work is very good at the moment. I've got a really nice meaty project on (the new Visitors Guide) and also I've heard some really positive feedback from other jobs I have done this year. I had to design a campaign to tackle teenage pregnancy (see below) and it turns out that latest figures show that the campaign is a success and teenage pregnancies are down. Hooray!


[I couldn't resist making one of the illustrations my friend Graham. That's him there, with his arms folded on the right!]

The funny thing about this campaign, is that there are five posters, all different designs, each with a different message - i.e 'Be in Control', 'Be Safe', 'Be Yourself' etc. However one of them was 'Be Positive', which I suggested you couldn't possibly use for a teenage pregnancy campaign! Thankfully the client agreed and we changed it...

Oh, another advantage of my bro's girlfriend moving in is obviously the financial aspect. The money will really help my 'travel fund', so next year hopefully I can go to some nice places. I'm still not sure where to go in March but usually I book over Christmas, so will resolve it soon. The favourite so far, based on recommendations and the fact that I want to go somewhere 'islandy', is the Philippines. However, I have nagging doubts, mainly because there isn't a backpackers trail as such (like Laos this year for example), which means it will be very difficult to meet people I think. I suppose that's the one thing that's holding me back... but maybe I just need to be adventurous and grasp the nettle - and accept I might have one or two homesick/lonely moments but it will be worth it.

This week has been a good week. I'm designing the new Visitors Guide which is a really nice project to get my teeth in to. I went on two photoshoots:

Photoshoot 1:
We needed a shot of a couple eating a nice meal outdoors. It had to look like summer, despite it being mid-November with a cold blustery wind, so the woman for example had a light, summery dress on. I felt sorry for her... I was cold in my leather jacket. She was a trooper though and didn't complain once and, if worst comes to the worst, I can always Photoshop her goosebumps out.

Afterwards the owner of the restaurant insisted we stay for dinner. I've been watching a few cookery programs lately ('Masterchef' particularly) and noticed that monkfish features a lot ("I've never had monkfish" I told my bro). So when I saw it on the menu I ordered it without hesitation. The verdict? It was SPECTACULAR. It had a nice creamy sauce with a hint of tarragon and apparently the dish has been nominated for awards.

Photoshoot 2:
Then today we did a photoshoot at a really nice country pub, complete with thatched roof. I was one of the 'models', so had to dress in walking gear (I knew my walking boots would come in handy!) and drink a pint of beer in an assortment of poses. In front of a fire - check, beneath some copper kettles - check, at the bar - check. It was very difficult not being able to drink my drink.

I feel that I injected plenty of personality in to my challenging role though and, at times, must have made a really very convincing rambler. I'm a bit disappointed that I didn't get chance to use my Zoolander pose, but think my research of watching 'America's Next Top Model' paid off beautifully. I was fierce.

I think I annoyed people at the supermarket yesterday.

I was at the checkout and piled my usual shopping on to the belt... as well as a mop and bucket. A ginger-haired student swiped each item through but when he picked up the mop he said: "I'm sorry, we can't sell this to you."

I was a bit confused why a supermarket couldn't sell me a mop they had on display. "How come?" I asked.

"It's been withdrawn."

"Really, why?" I asked, wondering how a mop could possibly be dangerous. It only has two components - a wooden handle and the mop bit.

"Not sure" the student said, "but we can't sell it to you."

"Right, okay... well I really need a mop tonight" I said, which technically wasn't true, I just couldn't be bothered going back another night, "can I go and get another?"

"Sure" the guy said. The woman behind me in the queue looked impatient as I walked past, through 'frozen foods' to the 'house and home' section. There were several other types of mops and I quickly opted for a vaguely futuristic looking one that had a squeegie lever (for the bargain price of just £7.99). I took it back to the counter.

"I'll take this one instead" I said, handing it over. He beeped it through, then just as I was about to pay I had a brainwave...

"Erm, waitaminute, can I just check that this mop fits in the bucket?"

"Yeah sure" said the student, hiding his impatience admirably.

Sure enough, as suspected, the super-mop wouldn't fit in to the bucket (which is one of the few things I actually ask for in a mop).

"Erm, it doesn't fit" I said apologetically, "I better go and get another one. I'm really sorry about this..."

The woman behind me in the queue stared daggers at me as I walked past.

The story had a happy ending though. I finally got a mop, it fitted in to the bucket, and the woman got served eventually.

I had a fun weekend.

On Friday I went for an Indian meal with a large group of friends then went to a club afterwards. The music was particularly bad (you know you've got a pretentious DJ when they play a dance remix of 'Sex On Fire') but the company was good.

The night after I went for a game of pool (I was awesome) and then on Sunday I went to a pub quiz with more friends (I was awful). I believe that pub quizzes are facing a crisis with the advent of the i-phone. Four students on the next table unashamedly looked up every answer - what is the point of that?! I was drinking 'pear cider' so felt quite merry by the end while Beth almost dozed off in front of the coal fire.

At one point I was throwing more coals on to the fire and my mate Graham said I looked like "a right amateur", struggling with the shovel/scuttle/whatever you call it. To be fair, I pointed out, "I've never been paid to shovel coal before".

Last few weeks my bathroom has had a big overhaul (my brothers girlfriend is moving in). It's finished now and is looking great - no longer do I have a pink bath! That said, I don't think I've ever had a candle in my bathroom before.

I enjoy engaging in conversation with blokey blokes, i.e workman. Despite the fact that I'm practically aristocracy coming from Chester, I believe that I can talk to people on all different levels...

For example, I was talking to the workmen who were installing the new bathroom.

"Toilet in yet?" I asked, as I handed one of them a brew.

"Yeah, nearly done" he replied.

"I can't wait to christen it!" I remarked bawdily.

"Already have done mate!" said the other one, who looked like the best friend in Shaun Of The Dead.

Lovely stuff.

You must watch this video - it's one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. It's the winner of Ukraine's Got Talent, Kseniya Simonova, but she isn't a Mariah Carey wannabe, or some tap-dancer (etc), she actually has immense talent. She tells a story by drawing a series of pictures in sand, to music (just click it, you'll see what I mean). The story she tells is about World War II and by the end people are crying in the audience it's so touching. I've never seen anything like it - it's incredible.

Unbelievable, an artist winning a talent show!

I had an interesting weekend. My intention was to have a few quiet drinks with my friends after work on Friday, then takeaway and maybe a film or something.

But my friend Adam had other ideas. It's funny, when you're single like me, certain friends seem to think that they have to help out, like it's some kind of horrible disease to be single. So he devised a cunning plan for us to go to hotel bars, where there would be an abundance of single females (or so his theory went). I've previously resisted but on Friday I just thought 'why not?' - at the very least it will shut him up. And if it doesn't work, well, that's ammunition.

So, me and a couple of others met up at a pub opposite the train station for the inaugural 'Operation Hotel Bar'. It was a cheap and cheerful gastro-pub with fruit machines and the occasional young child running about. I sang that annoying song to myself - 'I've got a feeling, that tonights gonna be a good night...' - except I substituted the word 'good' for something else.

We moved on to a much more classy bar on the opposite side of the road. A pint cost £3.50 but luckily it wasn't my round. We found comfy leather seats in the corner of a grand room whose walls were covered by large paintings in golden frames. A group of about a dozen (much) older women talked amongst themselves in the corner. I went to the toilet and there was an old man in a tuxedo at the hand-dryer. "It would be easier to meet people at a funeral" I thought as I sunk back in to my chair. And even IF there were single attractive businesswomen there (on a Friday night?) then we would still have to actually talk to them and do those things that tend to trip us up.

When we left that bar we walked down City Road, heading towards town. We walked in to another hotel bar and then did an 'about turn' when it soon dawned upon us that we were the only people in there (of course we were, anyone staying at that hotel would be out in town, not holed up in the bar!!). We went in to the bar at the Premier Inn and did a one-eighty when we saw more kids. I was quite enjoying myself by this point - I was being proven right that Adam's plan was fundamentally flawed. Haha.

Getting thirsty we ended up in Revolution - not a hotel bar but a very busy vodka bar with pumping dance music ("It's very loud in here!") and a very young crowd. We shared two pitchers of vodka and hardly spoke a word, my friends in Gawp Mode. I decided I wasn't having much fun - and was feeling a bit under the weather - so went home.

Next day I felt a bit rough. Not properly hungover but teetering on the brink. I drank a can of Orange Tango which I've heard is meant to be a good hangover cure but it didn't make the slightest bit of difference. Early evening I got a text message asking whether I was going out (as I normally do on a Saturday) and, being honest, I could quite easily have given it a miss. However, hair of the dog and all that, I threw on a shirt and headed in to town. Ding ding, seconds out, round two...

First up was Living Room, our usual meeting point. It was a bit dead in there so we drank up and went to Duttons nearby, which was heaving (not quite sure why). We got a small table next to a party of girls dressed as cats. I find it very unfair that at Halloween blokes have to make a real effort and girls can just put on some cats ears and draw whiskers on with eyeliner and that constitutes an 'outfit'. There was a guy working behind the bar who had blood all over his shirt and a bandage across his head.

"You wanna get that seen to, mate" I said to him, as he poured my drink.

Fair play to him, he laughed politely, probably for the umpteenth time that night. We moved on to Dakota, opposite the cathedral (the venue I did speed-dating for the first time) and then ended up in Havanas. Shamefully, I left at midnight for the second successive night, feeling dodgy. I had a TERRIBLE nights sleep and woke with the worst hangover I have ever had*. You know, when it's that bad that you find yourself groaning out loud to yourself? Hair of the dog indeed.

* - I would like to point out that I hardly ever get hangovers because I hardly ever get drunk!

I heard one of the funniest things I have ever heard today.

I was in town for an appointment at my optician. As I headed home, I was walking alongside a mother, holding hands with her daughter. On the main street in Chester a busker was playing...

"This is my favourite song!" chirped the cute little girl.

"Born To Be Wild???!" her mum said, shocked (well, more amused than shocked, really). Haha.

I was laughing to myself all the way back to my car. I'm sure people must have thought I was mad.

I've watched a number of films over the past month or so. I'll mark them in chronological order...

Wondrous Oblivion is an independent British film set in the 50's, about how cricket breaks down boundaries when a black family move in to a white neighbourhood. It's a touching film that is funny in parts [72/100] and the undoubted moral of the story is that if everyone played cricket, the world would be a better place. :)

I also watched a couple of films set in places I have visited. First up was The Beach, starring a traveler (Leonardo DiCaprio), searching for his own paradise in Thailand. I love the sense of adventure, exploration and freedom and was also quite partial to Virginie Ledoyen too [88/100]. The beach in question is Phi Phi, in Southern Thailand, one of my top recommendations for people who ask me about Thailand.

Another film set in Thailand is Bangkok Dangerous, starring Nicolas Cage. I only watched it because I saw a clip of the floating market on the trailer and didn't really expect to enjoy it, but it was a good film [71/100]. It starts with one of those Hollywood Blockbuster style voice-overs in which Cage says "There are four rules to being an assassin..." Clearly though he breaks the rule about 'not getting involved' when he starts dating the deaf Thai woman from the chemist. Schoolboy error.

One Missed Call is like a hands-free 'Final Destination' - with lots of good-looking teenagers getting knocked off one-by-one in a series of inventive manners [63/100]. A person would get a phone call from the previous victim telling them about their own imminent demise - which begs the question, WHY ANSWER THE PHONE??! It's just asking for trouble.

10,000 BC was actually quite entertaining although perhaps the least factually correct film ever made (woolly mammoths did not help in the construction of the pyramids!!). I liked the not-so-subtle message that, hey, people of any tribe/colour/facial appendage can get on [72/100].

Kevin Bacon witnesses the killing of his son in a driveby shooting in Death Sentence and then sets about avenging it. It was a good film, very tense in parts, and taught me the valuable lesson that gangs look fun. 80/100.

The Haunting In Connecticut is based on a true story, about a family who move in to a house that was previously used by an undertaker to embalm dead bodies [83/100]. Inevitably the house was haunted and the ghostly goings-on were based on actual true events... although having watched the documentary on the DVD extras, I'm not sure I believe the validity of the families claims (the mother was being interviewed when a picture fell off the wall behind her!). Nevertheless, a scary film.

I really enjoyed October Sky, a true story about a teenager (Jake Gyllenhaal) from an America mining town, who is so fascinated about Russia's Sputnik program, that he develops his own rockets. It was extremely predictable in parts (i.e his disapproving father turning up for the launch at the end, just as his son is making his 'thank you' speech) but it was an excellent film with the feelgood factor [89/100].

A number of people (including backpackers I met on my last trip) have recommended The Darjeeling Limited to me, about three brothers (including Owen Wilson) who go on a spiritual journey across India [73/100]. It's a very slow moving (dark) comedy, with a very loose plot, but India looks vibrant and there is one fantastic scene in the train, the camera moving from carriage to carriage, that reminds me of Michel Gondry's music video for Massive Attack's 'Protection' (one of my favourite ever music videos).

And last but not least, I watched No Country For Old Men the other night. I thought it was excellent and brilliantly directed. It's funny, you tend not to think of psychopathic killers having floppy fringes, do you? [91/100]

Perhaps inevitably I got stood up by my 'date' at the wedding reception on Saturday. She didn't turn up and I haven't heard a thing from her since.

A wedding reception is not a good place to be stood up. I was sat on a large round table with three other couples, but next to me was an empty seat and her name-tag, should I forget her name.

And then the DJ started playing music and (of course) all of the songs are such joyous songs about how great love is and how we're all 'having the time of our lives'. I felt like glassing the DJ when 'Don't stop me now, I'm having such a good time, I'm having a ball' came on.

I felt pretty humiliated and hurt (two emotions that tend to crop up quite a lot in my private life) but I don't really know what to think. The day before I spoke to her and she was "really looking forward to it" and then she doesn't turn up and, strangely, I haven't heard a word since. I'm pretty certain she's just not that type of girl. I wonder whether maybe she has had an accident or something but, realistically, I'll probably get a text message in a few days apologising profusely and probably offering some feeble explanation like she ran out of credit for her phone.

On the bright side, I feel very smug that whenever people were getting excited for me on my behalf, I dampened their enthusiasm, and have subsequently been proven right. The most hollow of hollow victories is mine!

My theory that I was Jack the Ripper in a previous life (and women-kind are gaining their revenge on me this time round), makes more and more sense... :)